Burn: Because Sometimes You Just Don't Want to Have a Deep Thought

Up today: Burn: A Novel by Linda Howard. I think that if somebody were to ask me to describe this book I’d say something along the lines of:

“A rather unimportant and infinitely forgettable novel that is perfect for those sunny afternoons while you’re sitting on your back deck soaking up the rays and trying to avoid deep thoughts, work, and most importantly – your children.”

A twelve second synopsis. WARNING WARNING WARNING – spoilers ahead.

Lottery millionaire Jenner and her spineless mushy friend Syd get themselves kidnapped by a band of secret spy James Bond types that are trying to prevent an evil billionaire with brain cancer from exacting his final “Take that you f*ckers” upon the world.

Seriously, that’s about all you need to know. Jenner and Syd, being pretty smart cookies, both figger out pretty quickly that those guns and mean scowls being waved around by the bad guys but really good guys kidnappers are just for show. They both start playing a game of “na na boo boo I know you aren’t really gonna hurt me so you’d better start trying a little harder to keep me happy or I’m not gonna play along with this kidnapping game no more.” Jenner, being the adventurous heroine, insists that she be allowed to help thwart Mr. Evil. Syd sends her captors on hamburger runs and makes them play dress up from her closet.

The HERO (sigh) in this particular escapade is the James Bond in Chief, Cael (sounds like the leafy green stuff but is spelled much more sexily). Jenner and Cael trade barbs, she bites him, he handcuffs her to a chair, a bed, and sometimes himself. Eventually they have smokin’ hot sex.

In the end, a few bombs go off and the ship sinks, but the plot was mostly foiled and Jenner gets to join the James Bond crew and keep the sexy guy as her own.

This was actually the first Linda Howard book I’d ever read and I was rather encouraged by it. You know, nobody is ever going to produce a list of discussion questions regarding this book, but it was pleasant and fun. I was rather surprised to see such mixed reviews from the Amazon Romance crowd (as I said before, Amazon – Land of Almost Any Piece of Crap Can Pull a Decent Rating). So I went looking for some other Linda Howard books and I think I see the problem. Next entry is going to be about the top rated Linda Howard book I could find, After The Night … and how I felt about it.

So next: Linda Howard, After The Night.